What I Deserve

I’m a 30-year-old single woman.  I’m a 30-year-old single woman who would like to be married someday.  I’m a 30-year-old single woman who would like to be married someday that occasionally deals with some self-esteem issues.

And as such, I struggle at times with expecting (and accepting) less than what I deserve in the romantic area of my life.  I’ve been trying to work through that recently…and have spent some dedicated time thinking about my “must haves”.  Sure…there are things I WANT in a mate…things that I find attractive…but at the end of the day…what are my “must haves”?

It’s easy to say trite things about being single…such as… “I would rather be alone forever than accept less than God’s best”…

And sometimes I really feel that way.  But sometimes I just want to have the rest of my life figured out…good or bad…so I can stop wasting time struggling with the “what ifs”!

Hmmm…Sorry…I got a little off track for a minute…  We were talking about my “must haves”, yes?

I’ve always joked about having only three qualifications for a future dating partner.  1.  Active relationship with Christ (meaning…not just someone that goes to church on holidays…but someone who is active daily in their faith).  2.  Non-smoker.  3.  Mav’s Fan.

I’m obviously joking about that last one…and from time to time I’ve wavered on the smoking ban…but the issue of faith is non-negotiable!  There are obviously other qualities that I find attractive.  Height (I may be short but I appreciate a tall man).  Humor.  Eyes.  Smile.  Shared love of all things relating to the Dallas Mavericks.  Love of travel.  See…  There are lots of things I would LOVE to find in a partner…but at the end of the day…really only a few things I HAVE to find.  Everything else is just icing on the proverbial cake.

Product Recommendation – Eyeliner

From time to time when I try a new beauty product that I love I’ll pass that valuable information to my dear (and few) blog readers.

This is one of those such times.

I stopped in Ulta a few days ago to pick up a new bronzer.  The ULTA brand makeup pieces were buy 2 get 2 free…so I felt like it was a good idea to buy a few odds and ends.

I bought bronzer (which I love) and three new eyeliners…which I LOVE.  You can see the eyeliners that I purchased here.

They go on really smooth, seem to last a long time, and do not run…this is important to me because my eyes water a lot and my mascara and eyeliner always wind up rolling down my face.  Also, it comes in quite a few fabulous colors!

Secrets and Sequins

I’ve made no secret that the past few weeks of my life have been a litte…shall we say…crappy.  Let’s just tell it like it is, okay?

So today…I got out of bed a little early…I put on a little more makeup than I usually sport for a rainy Monday at work…I put on my favorite sequined tank under my favorite black cardigan…and I went to work. 

Because really…there are very few life situations that can’t be improved with a few sequins and some eyeliner.

Happy Monday.  Make it a good one!

My Soundtrack…A Late January Edition

I’m a little late in posting my January soundtrack…but I still wanted to do it.  Music is such a significant thing to me…and sometimes it helps me to identify songs that hold a lot of emotional value for me.

Without further ado…

1. Window of Opportunity, Marijke Jane

2. Bad Romance, Lady GaGa

3. Already Gone, Kelly Clarkson

4. I Run To You, Lady Antebellum

5. Jump Then Fall, Taylor Swift

6. Do I, Luke Bryan

7. Half Of My Heart, John Mayer and Taylor Swift

8. Friday I’m In Love, The Cure

9.  Kiss Me, Sixpence None The Richer

10. Worth Fighting For, Warren Barfield

Two Posts In One Day…TGIF. :)

I’ve mentioned that 2010 has been a wild year so far.  But, I’m thankful that through the drama…and crazy…and tears…I’ve learned a few valuable lessons.

1.  I can easily become “that girl”.  You know…the girl that freaks out easily about a boy and obsesses about things beyond her control.  I’ve always prided myself in NOT being “that girl”.  Perhaps the lesson here is one of pride…
2. Country music is depressing.  That needs no explanation.
3. It’s okay to not be okay.  At the age of 30 I’ve finally learned how to cry in front of my friends.  
4. While “He’s Just Not That Into You” is a movie (and a book) from a secular view about relationships and love…it’s very wise.  I watched the movie four times…IN ONE WEEK. 
5. It’s easy to allow your job to become your identity.  It’s freeing to realize that it’s not.  At all.
6. I may not be destined to be a city mouse forever.  Yeah…I love Dallas…but time spent in the great Texas small towns this year has taught me that I miss that…I miss everyone knowing your name…I miss the community of it all.  I can’t believe that I’m about to say this…but I almost miss Tom Bean.

I’m excited about where this year is going…I’m even excited about where it’s been.

An Important Realization

I haven’t blogged in a while…I mean, sure, I’ve posted senseless quotes and song lyrics…but as for blogging about the bits and pieces of my life…hmmm…not so much. 

2010 has proven to be quite the year for me so far.  I fell in like (although I guess that technically happened in 2009)…I fell quickly out of like and got a teeny tiny piece of my heart broken.  I cried.  I had a heck of a few weeks at work.  I have had trouble sleeping almost every night.  I’ve been under the weather. 

But, you see, despite all of that, I would say that 2010 has treated me well.  Despite the tears and long days at work and traffic jams and…well…you get the picture…

Despite all of that…I’m happy.

I’m a big believer that sometimes you have to choose to be happy.  Happiness…and good days…and sunshine…those things aren’t always organically in our lives…sometimes we have to make our own happiness…

I’ve been steadfastly trying to see the silver lining these days.  Really focusing on learning life lessons in the hard times and being totally present in every situation…even if those situations are hard…it’s important to me that I experience life…that I live fully and without regret…and that I treat others how I would want to be treated.

I don’t always hit the mark…none of us do, I’m sure…but I’m trying…and at the end of the day…I feel like that’s something to celebrate.

I’ve got a few posts planned in the next few days.  First, I left you without a playlist for January 2010.  Shame on me.  I’ll make up for that this weekend.

A Little Bit of This…Little Bit of That

I’ll start this post with a SATC quote…because it’s too good not to pass along…

“People say ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a ‘Goodbye,’ But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something.”

Wise, yes?

But…moving on…I’m done with the saddy sad sad break-up talk.  Am I over it?  No…whatever that even really means…  I’m most certainly still sad and disappointed and a little…sad.

But I’m finished dwelling on it.  I will no longer allow this one life event to define my days and discourage my nights.  I’m moving on.  As I grow (ever so gracefully) older I”ve realized that so often being happy in the midst of the trials of everyday life is a choice.  And, as the saying goes, life certainly isn’t always fair.  And we don’t get our way.  But…we can still be happy about what God gives us.  We can choose to use our life to do good things and handle each day with grace and dignity.  Do I always hit the mark?  No.  It seems recently that I fail far more than I succeed in having faith in the midst of trails…but I’m not going to stop trying.

A Really Wonderful Quote

I have tried to start a post summing up what I’m feeling today. You know… Both entirely sad yet entirely hopeful… This (lengthy) quote describes it perfectly.

Maybe… Here in my little apartment… An apartment decorated with the things I love and the pictures of people I hold dear… Sitting on my chair watching movies from the Red Box…

Maybe this is my happy ending…

“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.”

- He’s Just Not That Into You

Short But Oh So Sweet

Another short entry dictated by the constraints of time…

I remembered something today.  Something I’ve always known but oh so frequently forget.

Although heartbreak my come.  And disappointment.  And tears and sadness.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

My God has not forgotten me.  And if He cares enough about me to find me furniture…and a job…and a car…and Godly friends…

I need to trust Him to bring my next relationship if that is ever meant to happen.  Pretty sure if I was patient (EEK) I would learn that He already has it under control.

A Friend A Friend A Friend

This is going to be short and sweet…because in all honesty, that’s what I have time for today. 

I’ve said this before…but I feel the need to say it again. 

Davita has the best friends in the whole wide world.

Friends that laugh with me.  Cry with me.  Tell me “like it is”.  Cheer me up.  Meet me for dinner.  Pray for me.  Pray with me. 

Really great friends.

And, I fail to see how life would be bearable without them. 

Love you guys.