I need to tell you a little story.
Once upon a time (and by that I mean last week) there was a girl named Davita (aka…me) that was fed up with her immediate dating prospects and disgusted by her own history of choices in men.
So Davita decided to sign up for eHarmony.
Davita was PERPLEXED by the hours (slight exaggeration) that it took her to fill out the eHarmony questionnaire regarding her 40,000 dimensions of compatibility. I mean for real folks…it took A WHILE.
But, fill it out she did. And then she added pictures. And then she sat on it for a few days trying to decide if she wanted to open her profile up for “matches”.
And…after some consideration she (I) did.
And, at first eHarmony told me I was not compatible with ANYONE. (I found that mildly depressing.) Must have been a glitch because the next day I had like 25 “matches”.
So…I get matches every day that I don’t always have the time to “maintenance” because, quite frankly, I’m a busy person and I don’t have hours each day to “close matches” and participate in “guided communication”.
Subsequently, I’m thinking about outsourcing the maintenance of my eHarmony profile to my friend S…I know she would hook a sister up.
And, because I have no embarrassment threshold whatsoever, I’m apparently bringing you along as I go through this “process”. That’s right. I’m going to blog about it.
eHarmony related topic #1…
“Closing” Matches
You see…”Closing” someone is the eHarmony equivalent of telling someone that you “just aren’t that into them”.
And when you “close” someone, you choose a reason explaining why you aren’t interested.
There are some predictable reasons…
*I want to pursue another relationship.
*I think our age difference is too great.
*I think we live too far apart.
Etc…Etc…
But I want to propose adding a few less traditional responses to my profile specifically that would greatly benefit me in this process…
*You are too short. Yes…I know that I’m only 5’5” and should subsequently be “okay” with dating someone who is 5’9”…but I’m a sister who likes to wear heels…and I, quite frankly, think tall guys are hot.
*Really? You didn’t think about using some type of spell check on your profile? Because when you say that… “I’m looking for a girl with a great sense of humir.”… Yeah… That’s a turn-off for me.
*You were wearing Ed Hardy in your profile picture. Enough said.
My favorite reason to “close” someone is “OTHER”. Yeah…when people close me and use the reason “OTHER”… I just take that to mean that they pretty much think I look like a troll and/or… They are not a fan of the witty sarcasm (aka…cynicism) in my profile.
So…am I being too petty? Or too picky? Or maybe…just picky enough?
Only time will tell, I guess…but for now…I’m finding the whole thing mildly entertaining and that’s just enough motivation for me to keep it up!